5 ways to burn a production down to the ground.
A primer, for if you ever want to see your perfect and beautiful art destroyed in front of you.
1. Do not adapt: Remain inflexible. Certainly, the only thing to make this scene work, is a panda. Now, they don’t have pandas roaming Southern Texas, and getting one will either take 5-9 months, which you don’t have, or it’ll cost $25k for the production team to hunt down a fucking panda, in hours, overtime, shipping and rental. Course that $25k is more than your camera, lighting and G&E package. But you have to have a panda, and oh… that scene got cut.
The best directors adapt. A panda would be nice. But maybe a bear who got painted like a panda? Now that’s funny.
2. Demand everyone loves your script: Man, no one loves your scripts. No one loves your project, no one loves your themes and your Mise-en-scène for the script. No one even uses that phrase on set. You go love your own work. Hire people who believe in donig the best job for you. And a big part of that is cash. Compensation for goods and or services rendered are a big plus. But the other part is, make sure your project is actually good. Be thankful for those
3. No one can tell me what to do!: Or as one Gaffer put it “Yeah, that’s true. But seeing as this is a night scene, it’s 6am, and i see the sun over there, I’m pretty sure that’s going to influence your shotlist.” Heed advice from others.
4. “And then the lead actress drives the car off the cliff…” My main job is schedule. My side job is safety. And I love a crazy stunt scene as much as the next person. But we can not pull this off in a manner that gets everyone home, then we’re done for the day. And if your desire to see your brother’s totally awesome room mate who’s playing a henchman, aim and fire an entire clip of full load blanks at our lead actor, on Day 2 of a 30 day shoot, then you’re out of your fucking mind.
5. Going home immediately after wrap/ arrive late: I’ve said it before but, take the time to thank the people on your set. You’ll make an amazing impression, and people will love working for you again. And don’t be the douchebag who shows up an hour after cal, with a latte in hand when crafty is a bag of pretzels and hand sanitizer. Be good to your crew.
-Griffin
